


Push it till you reach it

by drowninginchamomiletea, ElyseEstheim, goodfairyofny, JudasComplex, KawaiiBoushi, Not_An_Author, pyrrhickong, StormWildcat, WishStone



Series: KanNao Collaborations [2]
Category: Persona 4
Genre: F/M, Training, kannao - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2019-01-22 01:27:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12470404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drowninginchamomiletea/pseuds/drowninginchamomiletea, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElyseEstheim/pseuds/ElyseEstheim, https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodfairyofny/pseuds/goodfairyofny, https://archiveofourown.org/users/JudasComplex/pseuds/JudasComplex, https://archiveofourown.org/users/KawaiiBoushi/pseuds/KawaiiBoushi, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_An_Author/pseuds/Not_An_Author, https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyrrhickong/pseuds/pyrrhickong, https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormWildcat/pseuds/StormWildcat, https://archiveofourown.org/users/WishStone/pseuds/WishStone
Summary: Leading the life our friends in Inaba have, well, it really needs some work now and again. And if there is one thing nobody can get around, it is training your skills to get where you need to go.





	1. Intro

Sometimes you need to buckle on down, read through a stack of books, go for a hugely long run, pump some weights - or perhaps even meditate?

Hello everyone!

The currently published KanNao writers are getting together once more to all throw in their take on a general topic. This time around, the global topic we will work under is "Training" - in any form we can think of. Just like you, we'll not know what exactly will come out of this, but if this is anything like the last time we got together, chances are we'll have a blast!

So grab a drink and sit back while we get to watch Kanji, Naoto - and maybe other guest stars - as they train up their skills.


	2. When Feet Wander, Minds Wander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the _All It Took Was A Dance_ universe.
> 
> Naoto finally takes Kanji up on those early morning workouts. The struggle is real.

It had only been twenty minutes and she was already regretting this. Sure, she was in good shape; one would have a hard time being a good detective without being in prime physical condition, or close to it. But this? Just... _running?_ Slogging along at a trot of sorts as if one had nothing better to do with one's time- no. _Focus, Shirogane. You promised him you would accompany him from time to time, and now - as they say - it's time to put up, or shut up. In through the nose, out through the mouth, rinse, repeat..._

She needed a distraction, desperately. Her lungs were burning in her efforts to keep pace with Kanji's markedly longer strides, which he seemed to be having no real trouble with. He had one earbud in, the cord of which was attached to an MP3 player he held in his hand rather than in a pocket. Naoto hadn't even thought to bring something like that, but she'd already made a mental note to download some audiobooks onto her own MP3 player so she had something to listen to next time. Oh gods, next time-

NO, _Shirogane, stop thinking about the discomfort. Think about all the health benefits you will reap from this activity! Increased stamina, an overall improvement in your cardiovascular fitness, some muscle tone in your legs, better sleep, improved emotional and mental health..._

There was a reason she didn't do this normally. High-intensity interval sprint training was a far more efficient use of time than long-distance jogging, with similar - if not better - results. This was just-

"Doin' okay back there, Naoto?" Kanji called over his shoulder. He didn't even sound winded! Was this even doing anything for him!?

"Just- fine, Kanji-kun," she answered in time with her established breathing pattern. He flashed a grin at her and his eyes returned to the path ahead of them. The path... would that be enough to distract her? What was the general advisement, again... train your gaze on a point at a distance equal to half your height from your position throughout? She mentally calculated the length and estimated how far in front of her such a point would fall, letting her eyes relax on the perpetually moving spot perhaps halfway between her and Kanji...

No. This would not do. Two minutes of looking at dirt, or asphalt, or concrete about to be trampled by her trainers was mind-numbing in the worst of ways. Oh, _why_ had she insisted her grandfather only send her local or remote cases? Those were rare! Not that it would be prudent to mull over the particulars of _any_ case while unable to immediately take notes in her Moleskine... perhaps she should get one of those new smartphones after all. Rise had mentioned they had voice recording capabilities she took advantage of on multiple occasions when she had access to one. And, if Kanji got one as well, they could make use of the video chat feature and send pictures back and forth once she had to start traveling for work again. She smiled to herself for the first time since their jog began that morning.

Her eyes left the path and traveled up Kanji's legs as they pumped along ( _I wonder if he'll ever wear shorts on these excursions; his calves are likely quite well formed_ ), across his backside ( _is it... bouncing? Wow_ ), up the length of his spine ( _his latissimus dorsi musculature is really exquisite_ ), and over his broad shoulders ( _I would much rather be resting my head there than running out here_ ), which were again bare and glistening with sweat. The sun was rising steadily just ahead of them now after being at their backs for the majority of the run, and the light haloed around Kanji, making him appear almost... well. _For gods sake, Shirogane, stop apotheosizing your boyfriend._ Either the lactic acid was getting to her brain, or Kanji was, she found herself musing. _I am being far too poetic for the hour and activity at hand._

Naoto idly wondered how difficult the morning jogs had been for Kanji at the beginning. What had he done to motivate himself in the moment, when his lungs burned and muscles screamed for reprieve? Had he incorporated much stretching, perhaps even basic yoga, to prevent injury, especially given their... extracurricular activities in the TV world? What did he think about in all those mornings alone? Did he think about his Shadow much anymore? Did he ever consider how many times they had cheated death, as she did on occasion? Did he think about her? His mother? Father? Their friends? She wanted to know all of it, all of _him_ , and she decided she would join him as often as possible in order to build up the stamina necessary to have such discussions during their early morning excursions. The dim sunlight, gentle breezes, and relative quiet of the town at this time of day provided a perfect backdrop for delving into some of the deeper aspects of their personalities, their dreams, their fears, their hopes and desires. When focused on breathing and feeling the effects of activity-induced endorphins, things like nervousness, shyness, uncertainty... there was no room for such trivialities on the trails. She would be absolutely remiss not to take advantage of this opportunity to deepen the mental and emotional connection to her partner.

Naoto continued to watch him as they ran, paying no mind to the growing smile on her face, but paying every bit of attention to the way Kanji was getting closer to her. Was he shortening his strides for her benefit or was the end of this torture finally nigh?

"Finally found yer stride, huh?" he asked her, an odd note of pride in his tone.

"I- what?" she questioned.

"You been smilin' for the last half-kilometer. There's a lotta good in runnin', right?"

She considered this for a moment in all her fatigue, physical or otherwise... and realized, belatedly, that _Kanji himself_ had been the perfect distraction, motivation, whatever one wished to call it. Who needed a case, or a book, or anything other than the best partner anyone could ask for? "I believe there is, yes," she responded, finally letting her body relax into the rhythm of the run as Kanji matched his stride to hers in order to remain at her side. There was something about the way he did so that filled her with joy, but she didn't trust her emotional intelligence enough to put words to it. Better to simply revel in the sensation. "Oh, and do you think you could accompany me to Junes later today?"

"Sure, what for?"

Naoto grinned up at him, steeling herself as she mustered a reserve of energy. "You and I have new phones to buy." And with that, she kicked off, leaving a sputtering young man in her wake.

"H-hey, Naoto! Where's the fire!?" he yelled after her in confusion. She could hear his feet pounding against the pavement behind her, and by the sound of it, he was catching up quick. It had been ages since she'd raced anyone for fun instead of in pursuit; she lived for these displays of speed, especially when those around her weren't expecting it. It was far past time to add sprints to this training regimen.

"Come on, Kanji, the game is afoot! Last one to the corner buys the recovery drinks!" she taunted playfully over her shoulder, careful not to come out of her breathing rhythm overmuch. She heard him laugh mischievously not far behind her and willed her legs to move faster, leaning forward against the wind to make herself more aerodynamic.

"Oh-ho- _hoh_ , it's on now, Shirogane! I'm not gonna lose!"

Well. Maybe not this time... but give her a few more weeks of this, and she was confident he'd start doing so more often.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short little excerpt from the kannao series I'm working on! :) I don't really have any place to put this in TNTF, but this was the _perfect_ opportunity to work it in there. Many thanks to the Kannao Collab crew for asking me to join their operation. It's been really great getting to know them throughout this process! MY PEOPLE. 
> 
> I literally wrote this on my phone on a plane while my 7-year-old son was sleeping against my shoulder. Which, by the way, I don't necessarily recommend, because your arm tends to fall asleep, and then you might just drop your phone and then you're boned because you can't really move without waking your kid up and you're in the middle seat in the row (which thank goodness you at least have to yourselves but still) and your phone ends up near dead and oops you forgot you packed your extra batteries in the bag you checked and now you have to wait for it to come down the baggage claim but oh my god you're in Orlando and that shit takes _forever_ here's hoping that 2% of battery life hangs in there long enough for you to get the rental car oh shit
> 
> Not that anything beyond the arm falling asleep part happened. It's just hypothetical. Yep.


	3. Loss-Prevention Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Established relationship, Kanji as Naoto's assistant. They both overreact. It's just worse when Naoto loses control of her reactions.

“No, no, NO! Your durability is superb, of course, honestly worthy of swooning over. In fact I’ve found myself more often indulging in the musculature, how it nicely— and there you go again, DISTRACTING me with your… distraction-laden form!”

He’d gotten used to it. Her voice swinging between complimentary and frantic at the drop of a hat. She was very careful to never be cross with HIM, of course, as he’d very well noticed. Any failure to react in time or desire to stop was blamed on a fluke occurrence, some weakness he’d inherited trying to emulate one of the others, usually Yosuke, bless his heart for trying to connect with that dense wall of hormones. But it, of course, wasn’t enough, and she had a steady supply of energy-replenishing dews and other such concoctions to keep him going far longer than his body should allow for.

What was really wearing on him was how he detected the waiver in her voice. How she’d gasp every moment before the lightning made impact, or before the flamethrower started, or before the guard turret would activate. How he’d instinctively cock his head to her, and she’d blame herself for being so careless as to distract him. How she’d go into hysterical fits of self-deprecation for making herself his weakness, before turning up the environment to a blistering heat to further push him. How she’d praise that second-degree burns didn’t phase him so long as he was pushing forward for her, how romantic he was in not thinking of himself, all the while whispering “sorry” every time he’d take a step forward and he’d grit his teeth from the pain.

Kanji lost track of how long it’d been since Naoto’s Shadow had captured him. Long enough to start measuring time in “tests” rather than any other form of measurement. He’d stopped caring about forty-something tests ago.

The golden-eyed scientist sighed, overviewing her own personal ‘training room’ where her boyfriend now stood. “My point being, you won’t always have the physical fortitude to resist four bullets without bleeding out. I’m aware that your spirit is beyond superhuman, but you need the sense to dodge. You can do that, right, sweetheart? I’m going to warm up the chaingun again, okay? And I’ll load in about seven actual bullets along with the rubber ones, so you’ll have to be quick on your feet. I have every confidence in you to avoid them, though!”

A revolver attached to a machine retracted into a wall panel before a turret popped out of the floor again. Kanji’d long since lost the will to respond, body still stinging from a barrage of rubber bullets he’d decided to take in the shoulder. His legs didn’t feel like cooperating at the time - he’d heard Naoto gasp behind him, and something inside of him said to buckle down just on the minuscule chance a stray bullet could cause her harm. It was stupid, of course - nothing had harmed her after repeated tests - but if it existed, he felt like it was his duty to keep her from sustaining any sort of pain. Well it was less “felt” and more “instinctively reacted to ensure”, but “felt” sounded less obsessive in his head upon reflection. Still, by the time the barrel clicked into place, Kanji found some semblance of strength within his body to avoid the incoming barrage. Just avoid where it’s pointed and duck low after measuring the distance of the spread; easy enough after plenty of failed lessons. That’s how Naoto had learned to teach him; attrition and equating it to physicality. This was no different.

He was rewarded with a break for his perfect performance. A chance for his body to refuel with various liquids and dews and things with “soul” attached as a descriptor. Things to fuel his body, but his consciousness had reached its limit. A dead man walking didn’t begin to describe Kanji, half-sure he was reacting more on instinct than coherent thought, like an insomniac begging for the grip of sleep to overtake them. Shadow Naoto poured further compliments over the intercom, and his mind drifted, trying to find something to cling onto. Naturally, it turned to Naoto - seemed to be all he was capable of thinking of for the past long while, with her voice constantly blaring. Always a comfort, though. Always.

—

She blamed herself, he knew. Hell, anyone could tell from the look in her eye, though her quietly blaming herself under her breath every few minutes was also a generous clue. It’d been a relatively straightforward case - go incognito, quietly stalk a few clumsier members of a given cartel, disable their means of alerting, and infiltrate to catch them in a position where her arrests couldn’t be refused. Kanji, for his part, made the perfect ruffian for her to cling onto (albeit she consistently reinforced that he was not a ruffian, and a comment on how ruffians aren’t half as handsome as he is ended the conversation entirely with an infectious blush). From there, a list of names and locations could be given to proper authorities for a more labor-intensive and thorough sting operation, and she’d have both another high-profile case to add to her collection and the completion of their vacation fund (which she was still debating between Brazil or Germany - polar opposites, she was aware, but it depended on just how much energy she and Kanji were willing to expend. Kanji’d also seemed interested in the various patterns exhibited there, and he always did tell her that firsthand experience beat photos any day).

He saw it, she didn’t. A tripwire placed in an outright ludicrous location - what strategic value was there to covering the watercooler with an explosive? He recalled shoving her out of the way, yelling her name, and his body feeling altogether too heavy and too weightless at the same time. When he woke up, Naoto explained that the burns left on his side would heal, but would take time and the flesh would remain weak and vulnerable. The worst blow would be in the time it took to make his right hand re-learn the fine motor functions he needed to sew; damn thing could barely hold a needle, much less work it properly. Kanji knew she was spending too much time with him in the hospital, but she insisted anything worth doing she could be doing from his side, which shut him up immediately. Not like he would’ve said anything different.

When she left each day - always past the end of both visitation hours and the patience of whatever nurses were on-hand - Kanji could swear he could hear her. “It’s my fault, it’s my fault” she’d cry - no, she’d bawl. With the weakness she only entrusted to him. And he assured her, every time he heard it, as softly as he could muster, that it wasn’t. It couldn’t be. She’s the reason he was in a dangerous position? He would’ve followed her anyway. It was her careless mistake? It was his job to watch her back while she thought of a million other important things.

Eventually, she appeared on the television. He wasn’t sure how, but everything panicked. Her huddled, crying, repeating that she “couldn’t lose him, not anyone else, especially not him” again and again. He rose from his bed and approached the television. And when his hands reached the glass, hers immediately grabbed them. And dragged the rest of him inside.

—

Her shriek was what brought him out of a trance-like state. Kanji looked over to his shoulder, finding a good chunk of it had decided to abscond with a nearby sawblade. Evidently, he hadn’t been quick enough. He was really too tired to care, he’d just have to do better next time. Naoto expected better of him. Naoto, her shadow - they were the same person, yeah? He had to get as strong as she demanded deep down, or he’d just remain a burden. Remain something she’d have to train over and over again, like a disobedient dog.

He was more surprised when the various devices for him to endure and avoid halted, and Shadow Naoto raced to his side. Making out her stream of apologies proved to be difficult, but something akin to a “it’s all my fault, I’m the world’s worst girlfriend I could just die” could be made out. In a haze, Kanji’s good arm found the shadow’s back, comforting it in a steady rhythm. Her tears followed shortly after, sobbing wildly into his chest. Already he could feel her machines working on repairing the missing flesh, keeping the injury from producing any further blood. It was her will he become “better”, after all - he had to follow it.

He barely acknowledged the sound of a loading revolver chamber as a barrel pressed against the back of Shadow Naoto’s head.

“… So, finally you’ve come.” the gold-eyed bluenette mused, her previous hysterics quickly hidden in melodrama. She turned to meet her human self with a smirk, which was returned with a gun’s handle whipping across the shadow’s face. Naoto continued to fume, grabbing at her shadow’s collar. “My, taking his example? How brutish we’ll become for love.” the shadow swooned.

“Silence.” Naoto snapped, shaking her shadow for good measure. “What you… what I’ve done is unforgivable. Release him, at once!”

A cackle was quick to follow, Shadow Naoto running a coat-covered sleeve past Naoto’s cheek. “Come now. We both know that’s not what you really want.” Before Naoto could say another word, her shadow placed a finger to her lips, smirking and gesturing to her semi-conscious beau. “Isn’t he perfect like this? Entirely devoted… he’ll never leave me. Perfectly loving at all times. Of course, there’s still enough basic motor function and drive inside to ensure he can still work with a needle and thread. I’m not immediately keen on attempting to be fit to yukata properly, but i’m certain that a certain pair of hands can change my mind.”

Naoto gritted her teeth, her shadow practically… purring at Kanji. She damned herself for ruining that fantasy forevermore.

“Besides,” the shadow continued, “I’ve ensured through EXTENSIVE testing and training that his body is capable of reacting to even the slightest hint of danger, as well as improved its overall survivability! He’ll never leave, never, never, NEVER! And if, of course, I were to meet a tragic end, well, Romeo and Juliet was never a favorite of mine, shallow shells of humans acting upon the whims of rebellion and daring to call it love, but without hesitation, I’m certain that he would…”

Naoto’s hand snapped around her other self’s jaw, forcing it shut with a cold vice grip. “Don’t you DARE insinuate… I wouldn’t be so… so childish… so SELFISH as to ever…” Naoto’s words and thoughts trailed, a single smirk from her shadow utterly defeating her.

“Ever what, Shirogane?” the twisted persona managed through crushed lips. 

Naoto froze, eyes darting to Kanji. Her shadow continued to speak, to mock, to tell her the truths she wanted to ignore, but both her and Kanji had reduced it to background noise compared to the all-important gaze between the two of them. It was Kanji who moved first, slowly trudging as Naoto released all grips on her shadow. His arms slowly moved to her sides, gripping her waist with mechanical efficiency.

“C-can we… go home?” he whispered. “M’tired…”

Naoto found herself unable to stop the tears forming in her eyes. “H-how can you say that?! I-I… I did this to you. In paranoia I… allowed myself to be swept up in emotion s-so great that it… it would do THIS to you! I-I should be begging for forgiveness - no, that would be the selfish thing, the correct thing would be to ask you what help you need, remain a financial support, and for you to never have to see me again. And even then, I couldn’t begin to repent for…”

Her words were stopped by Kanji’s finger upon her lips. “You were worried… overreacted. S’fine. We both overreact a lot.” Protest formed immediately on Naoto’s lips, that normally overreaction does not involve kidnapping, driving your boyfriend to constant physical exhaustion, and striking at him to ensure practical Stockholm Syndrome as an end result, but Kanji continued on.

“We’re both jus’… kinda messed up, y’know? Scared. Shit like this happens… mean, s’not healthy. Wouldn’t wanna go through it again but…” Kanji swallowed hard, trying to keep his focus, stumbling a bit on his feet. Naoto, for her part, quickly caught him, already whispering hushed apologies in a trembling tone.

“With normal people, would come out prolly with one’a us blowin’ up at the other. We’re a lil’ different ’n that, but…” Kanji gave a wry chuckle. “I know what m’gettin’ myself into by now. And I wouldn’t stick around if you weren’t worth it. S’all there is to it.”

“T-things aren’t that simple! You can’t just break it down to…”

“Naoto.” She stopped and stared into his eyes. “More t’you than this, y’know? You’ll get… we’ll get better. And everythin’ else… more than enough to be worth stickin’ around for.”

Her Shadow had gone. They spent a long time in the training room together. By the time Kanji faded into unconsciousness in her arms, Naoto had long since dampened his shirt with tears of regret and gratitude. In time, she’d overcome this, too. The joy of having him overcoming the fear of losing him… she’d train for that. She’d live for that.

A few hours later, the couple carried each other back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not entirely satisfied with the ending, but I feel like the lengths to which they go through for each other cannot be understated, and I greatly wished to differentiate their dedication to each other from a more abusive love. Feel like I managed to capture that feeling well enough. Shadows are fun but tricky.


	4. Lifting Partners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naoto takes a suggestion from Rise that leads to an interesting afternoon at the gym with Kanji.

“Oh, Naoto-kun!” Rise exclaimed. “I have a great idea!” Her tone was too mischievous  
for Naoto’s liking. Surely she was up to something, as usual. Naoto rolled her eyes in anticipation before turning to face her friend.

“What is it, Rise-chan?” she asked. 

“You should totally ask Kanji-kun to train with you!” 

“W-Why would I do that?” Naoto asked.

“I mean, you’re always on the same team when we fight. You even have a combined attack! I bet you’d be even more on the same page if you trained together outside of the TV, too.”

Naoto failed to catch Rise’s smirk. She had to admit, the girl had a point. It might give them an advantage in battle, and out of the whole team, she had spent the most time with Kanji. She felt more comfortable with him than any of the others, Rise included. Finally, she nodded. “I will think about it.”

“Great! Well, senpai’s waiting for me, gotta go!” And with that, Rise was gone. Naoto sighed deeply. The girl never failed to give her a headache. She walked down to her shoe locker, and was surprised to see that Kanji hadn’t left for home yet. _I suppose this is as good a time as ever_ , Naoto thought.

“Kanji-kun,” she began softly. He still jumped out of his skin.

“Yo, Naoto,” he said. ”Sup?”

“I was thinking that it might be lucrative for the team if we trained together.”

He eyed her curiously. “I don’t get it. We train together all the time.”

“I mean… outside of the TV. Surely you must have some sort of physical regimen that you practice daily, or you wouldn’t be in such good shape.” Her eyes fell on his very well-built arm muscles.

“O-Oh!” he said. “Yeah, I mean, I go to the gym most afternoons. When we’re not in the TV.”

“Are you going today?” Naoto asked.

“Y-Yeah,” Kanji said shakily.

“May I join you?” 

“Uhh… you sure you wanna do that? I mean, it’s cool if you do. But, yeah. I get it if it’s not really your thing.”

Naoto felt her temper start to flare. “Are you calling me weak, Kanji Tatsumi?”

“N-No, absolutely not. L-Let’s go then, yeah?”

Naoto smiled smugly. “That would be fine.”

_______________________________________________________________

She was grateful to have thought to grab her P.E. clothes from her locker on the way out of school. If this were to become a regular thing, she would pack a special training bag, but for today it would do. When she emerged from the locker room at the gym, she realized that she was not at all prepared for Kanji Tatsumi in workout clothes. The sweatpants were fairly normal, she supposed, but the tank top was going to be something of a problem. It was extremely fitted. She found him already at a weight bench, doing bicep curls with weights much larger than she could ever imagine lifting, and the tank top was already soaked through with sweat, accentuating every ripple of his well-toned abdominal muscles. She approached the bench not knowing what to say. This was a very new situation for her.

“Hey, Naoto,” he greeted her. “You ready to pump some iron?” Her face must have indicated otherwise based on the way he was smirking at her.

“Y-Yes,” she said, trying to keep her eyes on his. “What do you recommend for a… beginner?” she asked. 

“If you haven’t been lifting at all, I’d try the five pound weights. If it’s not enough, move up to eight.”

Naoto nodded and picked up the fives, quickly switch to the eights. She supposed between her often physical line of work combined with fighting in the TV, she must have built some muscle mass on her arms at the very least. “What weight are you using, Kanji-kun?”

“Oh, uhh, sixty.”

“ _Sixty pounds_?!” Naoto gaped. Surely that couldn’t be normal. Why was this boy so ridiculously strong?

Kanji just shrugged. “Been increasing a little at a time is all.” He got quiet as he worked on another set. Naoto found herself unable to not stare at his body as the muscles continued to ripple. Unfortunately, when she looked at his face again, he was grinning at her. “Something interesting?” he asked.

“N-No,” she said, immediately looking away. “Just, observing your form. For the exercises. I… want to make sure I’m doing them correctly,” she mumbled. Her face had to be on fire.

Thankfully, Naoto was not caught staring again, although she definitely kept looking, just a bit more discretely. They worked out for about an hour. _Do normally people really do this for an hour every day_? she wondered, feeling completely exhausted. “Thank you for letting me join you, Kanji-kun. That was very… helpful.”

“Oh, umm, yeah. Sure thing, Naoto. You can join me anytime you want.” They walked partway home together, going their separate ways when they reached the shopping district. Naoto paused to watch him walk away, wondering what on earth had come over her. She finally turned towards the bus stop, making a mental note to thank Rise for the suggestion when she saw her next.


	5. Double Practice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, as you work on one issue, you might find a second problem that needs working out...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Persona Q, pre-relationship, unconnected to my other stories.

_“Teddy-kun?”_

_“Yes, Nao-chan?”_

_The girl cringed and tucked at her cap. “I truly wish you would not call me that,” she mumbled as he bounced closer._

_“What is it?”_

_“I… I have… I have a personal question, Teddy-kun.”_

_“Oho!” The boy-shadow popped out of his suit. “If it is about_ love _, then I will be your best guide, my lovely dame!”_

_“Do not be ridiculous,” she said, ignoring his crushed expression as he slunk back into his costume, “it is nothing of the sort. I was… more interested in how you adapted from being a navigator to being a healer.” She adjusted her cap, jacket sleeves and collar and looked back at him calmly._

 

With horror, Naoto watched as Kanji jumped forward and barely dodged behind his shield, catching three blows directed against the front row of the team. He staggered back, huffing as he barely propped himself up on his shield. “Damn! That asshole can dish out!”

 “Konohana-Sakuya!” the elegant girl to her side called out, “Diarama!”

Healing like a warm wind gusted over Chie Satonaka, who had barely been able to hold on after the last few blows she had taken. That Kanji even had defended them all was due to the state in which their sporty senpai was in to begin with. Moreover, while the healing spell from her best friend helped, it was clear that it had not fixed her.

The enemy attacked again, and Chie’s pained groan was the reaction she had feared. She did not even wait for their leader’s command when she reached into her coat. The girl itched to give in to the impulse in her, to help the tall boy standing right in front of her, but she was under orders. Pulling out her revolver, she broke a somewhat unfamiliar card into shimmering shards. It did not hold the familiar symbol of the Wheel of Fortune and as it shattered, she was forced to listen to a loud complaint delivered in a high-speed, high-pitched screech.

_dontlikeitIdontlikethisatall_

_‘Shh, please, Sukuna-Hikona let me… I need to-!’_

“Gabriel!” Naoto now shouted, and a female angel in shining armour appeared behind her. “Diarama!”

 

_“It was easy, really, because I was looking out for everyone already before I started to have Kintoki-Douji! I mean, I was always watching, warning them if something happened, if someone wasn’t doing well, see? All I needed to do was keep watching, but now I could also help, kuma!”_

_Naoto fidgeted with the card Yu had given her. “I see.”_

_“Why do you ask, Nao-chan?”_

_“I… Senpai, he gave me a new sub-card. ”She held up a card of the Empress arcana and regarded the face side with a small frown. “He said he would like to have another quick thinker be able to turn the tables.”_

 

Chie jumped up straight, shuddering. “WOHA, Naoto-kun! Thanks!” The girls exchanged a quick smile as her newly borrowed Persona faded back into her subconscious.

However, the smile did not last for long. Worried, she glanced at Kanji, who had propped himself up before her, defending against the next possible blow. “Yer okay back there?” she heard him mutter.

“Worry about yourself, _please_.” His infuriating habit of ignoring his own safety was enough to drive her insane at times, but now it just fed into her frustrations even more. He could barely stand and still tried to baby her.

“Don’t worry, Kanji, not forgetting about you,” Yu called, jumping over an enemy slash. “Okay, Chie, send him a God Fist next round, you should be okay for that. Kanji, defend.”

“But senpa-“

“Trust me, defend! Yukiko, you heal him. And you, Naoto, if you could just shoot at the small one in the back row for us. That should be the break we need.”

She nodded, pulling her gaze from her team partner, staring down the raven holding a lamp in the far back.

The front row had to endure another hard slash and Kanji went to his knees with a groan.

Naoto stepped forward, her knee brushing into his back, trying to help him stay steady, while she herself took aim. She fired – and knocked down the raven! The rush of her success flooded her and she stayed, her legs giving Kanji a place to lean against, as she reloaded her revolver.

She barely noticed Chie’s attack pulverise an enemy, could barely notice Yu knock another shadow over and sighted relieved as she felt the some of the warmth of Yukiko’s healing spell flooding into Kanji.

The moment she felt him pull himself to his feet, she left his side, revolver at the ready.

The boy called out, “They look exhausted, Senpai, we should just smash them!”

Yu nodded in agreement and they rushed forward.

 

_“Explain Healing, Naoto-kun?”_

_She nodded at her black-haired senpai. “If you could, Yukiko-san.”_

_“Well… hm, I don’t know how to explain it. I just… well, all I really do is think of what I want Konohana-Sakuya to do. Like when I want her to use_ Agi _, too.”_

_Naoto put her fingertips to her mouth and pondered. “I have never had such an ability within myself.”_

_“Don’t worry about that. Yu gave me a sub-Persona that can throw_ Bufu _, and I was actually scared to use it at first!” Her senpai started to giggle softly. “Weird, I know, but I am so weak against ice, it really worried me at first!”_

_“So how did you… how… Hm.” She took off her cap and ruffled her hair nervously. “How did you balance the new powers with your old ones?”_

_“Oh, that was easy. I just needed to know what my new Persona knows and I was all set. Also, King Frost is really sweet, all things considered.” She smiled and pulled an Emperor card out of thin air, depicting the portly Persona._

_“I have never healed before… I am admittedly nervous about it.”_

_“Maybe we should ask just for a few training runs when he gives us new ones? Do you think that would help, Naoto-kun?”_

_“Teddy said the same. I will talk to Yu-senpai about it.”_

The last of the shadows shimmered out of existence and the team looked one another over. Fuuka reminded them to heal up and as Kanji tore open a healing gel, Naoto walked over to their leader. She waited while he conferred with the quiet boy the other students had called their leader, now and again catching herself glancing back at Kanji. The tall boy had carried a lot of the defence in this last round; she was, admittedly, somewhat worried for him.

“Oh, Shirogane-san?” She jumped as the other team’s leader turned to her. “I’m sorry; did you need Narukami-san?” She managed a nod and tucked down her cap in embarrassment. The two boys nodded to one another and Yu turned to her. “What is it, Naoto?”

She lifted her cap and tried to pull her shoulders up a bit. “Senpai. I would need to request we either train in a less dangerous environment, or that you replace me as healer.”

The grey-haired boy ruffled his hair and sighed. “Yeah, Rise’s been on me, too. That was a bit rough just then, hm?” He sheepishly smiled at her. “And replacing you isn’t going to happen, Naoto, I want you to get used to healing, after all.”

She felt herself stand even taller. “It was a close call. We are lucky nobody was knocked out, Senpai.”

He sighed once more and squinted over at Kanji. “I’ll apologise to the others. Let’s go up one floor, I still have a Goba-K we can use.”

She gave a brief nod and turned to watch the rest of the team. The boy with the baseball cap approached her. “Hey…”

“Junpei-san,” she replied, tugging her cap in greeting.

“Ah… you, uh…” He glanced sideways in an awkward fashion. “You okay? You looked pretty stressed there.”

Naoto crossed her arms and pondered how to reply to that.

He misread her stance and put both of his hands up defensively. “N-Not that it’s any of my business! I mean, heh, I was just-“

“You are concerned,” she acknowledged, nodding at him with a smile, her eyes closed. “And I appreciate your concern. Truthfully, I am not entirely certain I know how to answer your inquiry. We were safe enough. You were safe as well. I have just never had the ability to heal before and it is slightly concerning.”

He took off his hat, ruffled his hair and sighed as he pulled it back on. “Man, I wish I could heal.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I mean, I like not having to worry about it and stuff, but our healers are the real heroes, right? Without them, we couldn’t get this far! We’d be stuck having to slap on healing gel or gulping down gross foods and stuff like that.”

Naoto crossed her arms again, her gaze moving to Kanji as her tried to work a knot out of his shoulder. She paused her current thoughts to wonder if she should offer him a massage – a frequent thought she had yet to act upon.

She was pulled from her thoughts when the boy stated to wave wildly at someone in the rear-guard group. “Ah, sorry, Yuka-tan wants me for something.” The boy cringed and sighed. “Possibly for some yelling-at. Well, see ya later!” He lifted his hand in a short greeting and jogged back to the larger group of Persona-users.

_youhavebeenignoringmeallday_

_‘Not on purpose, Sukuna-Hikona-kun.”_

_allyoucareaboutnotisthatdumb-_

_‘Sunkuna-Hikona!’_

_Please, it is quite all right. I understand, I am, after all, just a guest here, and possibly an intrusion._

_‘You are no such thing. You are a helpful ally in my arsenal and I would_ appreciate it _if my inner self could come to terms with this.’_

_idontlikeit_

“Na-Naoto?”

She shook herself out of her thoughts to first look into a frowning skull-pint, then up a slight bit into the concerned face of a very-much hunched Kanji Tatsumi. “Whoa. Scary. Wacha frownin’ like that for?”

The girl shook her head and barely caught herself from laying a hand on his arm. “It… I was …” She paused, and then chuckled. “I was having an argument with myself.”

He simply tilted his head and waited for her to explain.

“My Persona… Sukuna-Hikona. He does not appreciate having to share my attention.”

“Issat right? Huh. Take-Mikazuchi seems fine. I actually think he likes the company.” He scratched his head and rolled his shoulders. “I think he likes both having a buddy and getting to fight alongside someone new. It’s… like he has another senpai, in a way. I am doing stuff with my current Sub I could never do with him. And it’s almost like he’s watchin’ or something, right? Like he wants to know how to do new stuff, too.”

She listened to him, her own thoughts pondering how she felt. ”You are saying your Persona is seeing the possibilities it could have to continue its own growth?”

The tall boy blinked at her, looking a bit lost.

“Ah. My apologies; that may have been a bit philosophical.”

“’s no biggie.”

They stood quietly, simply facing one another for some time.

Naoto gave a brief listen to her inner cosmos. Her Persona sulked, while the angel tried to soothe him. In a way, the situation here was a familiar one. Sukuna-Hikona, her inner self, tried to be dependable. Show his worth. Show he, too, had value. That during this training to be a healer he would feel side-lined was very natural. She depended on him for several weeks now, and he showed his worth many times over.

Now he needed to learn to cooperate. He needed to hold back. He needed to share her attention; her mental and physical energies.

“I wish to apologise, Tatsumi-kun.”

His only reply was a ‘Hn?’ and questioning look.

“My… my healing. It feels very different to channel positive energies towards someone, than infecting harm. I … I may not be very good at the former.”

The boy rolled his shoulders once more, looked over to the group that was now gathering around Yu and reached out to pat her shoulder, which she flinched away from. “Ah… s-sorry. Uhm. Let’s head back first, ‘kay?”

She nodded and followed him to enter the portal to the floor entrance. As part of the combat team, she was one of the first to walk through, naturally.

Yu arranged them into their battle formation again and Naoto took her place side-by-side with Yukiko; feeling the rest of the group hang back as a rear guard. To her side, her two female senpai chatted like the friends they were, commenting on the surroundings and looking at some of the items they had picked up from Shadows. Yu seemed to be talking to Rise and Fuuka – though, knowing their Idol-friend, possibly just Rise.

This left her mostly to her own thoughts. Several times now, Kanji Tatsumi had been very considerate of her. Very kind to her. And he seems to very much want to protect her. She still blamed this on her short stature – which, really, was not all that small. She was barely shorter than their sporty senpai and between her and Rise-san was no visible difference in height. But he seemed to gravitate to her, and from his case file at the police she knew that they had a considerable thirty-one centimetres between them. It must make him rather protective of her, if his focus was so much on her specifically.

“Look out!”

Rise’s excited warning echoed in her mind and Naoto stopped where she was, revolver at the ready, peering past Kanji as he briefly dropped his shield to crack the joints of his wrists. “Here we go, damnit!”

She half-listened to Rise’s explanation of five attackers before turning her attention to Yu-senpai.

“Okay, you guys! Kanji, get pumped, we’ll need you. Chie, see if you can use your Sub to swipe at the two in the front. I’ll see if I can get one of these poison circles to work. Yukiko, Naoto, just do what you like for now.”

Everyone nodded at his or her instruction and the first shadow rushed in on them.

Naoto ignored it, taking aim at one of the flying enemies in the back and knocked them down with her first shot. A rush of adrenaline was her immediate reward for her handiwork. She dodged back behind Kanji, but not before the Shadow that had rushed forward actually reached out and clawed at her. She took the hit with a small grunt, while she heard Kanji growl in frustration.

She watched Chie send her persona out to slash at the two Shadows in the front, followed by their leader casting a poison circle at the feet of the enemies. Beside her, Yukiko calmly called on her own inner self and cast an Agi-based spell on the entire enemy group.

“Great going! Three are on the ropes already.” Yu looked over his shoulder. “Okay, the next few rounds are for you, Naoto. Go through different heals. We’ll all take turns with our own support spells and such; but I want you to get the hang of healing for now.”

She nodded and listened as everyone else was instructed to try out things they had maybe not so far. Kanji, who had performed a Dragon’s Call in the first round, kept glancing from enemy to enemy, then at the group, then her in particular, then at the enemies again.

One by one, each of the team members readied their combat enhancements. As nobody seemed injured right now, Naoto communed with her loaned Persona on how they could help their group. Both decided on readying a spell to buffer received physical harm, before they started off yet again.

A shadow raced right for her again. Naoto braced herself for the impact, only to have Kanji jump in and take the hit for her.

“Tatsumi-kun! Why would you-“

“Hush, Naoto!” Chie shouted at her, her eyes pinched shut in concentration. “You’ll make me lose it…” She jump-kicked into a card. A Persona the blunette had never seen before rose, cast something, and vanished again. Suddenly her movements felt even lighter than before.

Yu and Yukiko both guarded themselves and the team took what damage was dealt – or would have. Chie’s raised awareness let them dodge the following hits easily.

In the following rounds, slowly damage started to become noticeable. So far, the poison circle had only killed one of the weaker Shadows and the others started to show some exhaustion.

“Okay, Naoto, go for a big group heal next! We’ll guard.”

She nodded and pulled the card of the angel forth again. “Persona!” Blue light shimmered and she closed her eyes.

Bringing harm was always easier. The difference between pulling the trigger on a gun and de-escalating a dangerous situation. One is quick and direct and does not need too much care. You need to wound someone - you just slash out at them.

But healing, she had now grown to understand, was different. And so far, she had only stepped in to heal one specific person at a time.

As she released some of her concentration to the calm presence of the Angel hovering at her side, she saw the scrapes and wounds; the bruises and trickles of blood. She felt, as if with invisible hands, how a strained muscle in Kanji’s shoulder was loosened. How the cuts on Chie’s legs pulled tight and gently mended the broken skin. How the ice-burn on Yu’s arms returned to healthy skin. How the gash over Yukiko’s cheek first stopped bleeding; then healed as if it had never been there.

This was fascinating.

It was exhilarating.

It was also yet another place for strife and exhaustion, as her two Personae clashed.

“Nice work, Naoto!” Rise’s voice seemed to barely get through the static in her head from her tiny Persona’s chattering and chirping. “You’re all back to normal, senpai!”

“Good job, thank you, Naoto!”

Try as she might to concentrate, she could barely hear her comrades congratulate her over the anger and upset of her Persona.

_dontknowwhyyouevenhavemeifyoudontneedmeehere_

_‘Please, Su-‘_

_allidoishangaroundandnobodywantsmypoweratall_

_‘You know that is not so. You are needed. And when your time comes to be useful, I will-‘_

_youaresayingiamnotalwaysuseful!_

“NAOTO!” She felt Kanji nearly run into her as he caught a direct blast from a fireball with his shield.

Her hands resting on his lower back to steady him, she let him sink to one knee.

“Ah, okay, let’s finish these guys off for now, then heal up proper. Naoto, if you could-“

“Diarama!” Without waiting for her instructions and purely in instinct, she cast the powerful healing spell on Kanji, watching as he shook off the drowsy feeling of a fresh heal and scrambling to his feet.

The cobalt-haired girl blushed, tugging her cap lower.

_‘What just happened?’_

_You sensed he was in pain and you wished to help him._

_yesbecauseicouldneverbethatuseful-_

“WILL YOU JUST BE QUIET?!”

Naoto froze, looking at the surprised faces around her. The battle was won, they had been cheering, but her own mind was too preoccupied with her the argument of her inner ‘demons’. 

“Ah, my… my apologies. I was not addressing you all… I… I’m sorry.”

Yukiko gave her a small smile, and then turned to their leader. “I think Naoto-kun is getting tired, too. Maybe we all should head out for a break. Training new skills is taxing.”

“Yeah.” Yu pulled out the Goho-M trinket. “I’m getting hungry again, too.”

 

* * *

 

Listlessly poking at her _takoyaki_ , Naoto sighed deeply. Sukuna-Hikona had not stopped ranting about feeling useless for the last 30 minutes, and while Gabriel was trying to soothe him, he refused to stop.

“Uhm.”

She looked up into the tightly constricted grey eyes of Kanji Tatsumi. “Yes, Tatsumi-kun?”

“Is… uhm… did ya wanna be alone?”

“I have no preference regarding company at this moment.”

He blinked at her. Silence started to stretch on.

“What I mean to say is, Tatsumi-kun, I do not mind being alone, but I also would not mind company.”

“Ah. Okay.” He pulled out the chair opposite her and sat down with his tray of food.

She looked back at her food, prodding at it.

“Gets borin’ after a while, hm?”

She looked back up at him. “I beg your pardon?”

“The same food? I mean, I really like festival food, normally. I spent so much money on the stands at the shrine this year alone, heh. But now… it feels like I’ve been eatin’ the same things for days.” He sighed and dripped some of his fries into mayonnaise.

She glanced back at her food. “It might have _been_ days, for all we know. Or just a few hours, feeling like days.”

Silence returned and she let her thoughts drift back to her inner cosmos. The argument still raged. “Tatsumi-kun?”

“Hn? Yeah?”

“I was wondering… you mentioned your Personae cooperate?”

“Well, Kinda? It’s what this feels like, at least. Like… like Ganesha is an older sibling, trying to show my big guy how to do stuff? Makes him wanna pay attention.”

“My own… That is to say…” She pushed the food away and lifted her cap higher before leaning forward on the table. Why this would make him blush, she had no idea. “Sukuna-Hikona has been very negative about the whole experience.”

The blonde shook his head, leaned back and crossed his arms. “Uh, wh-why? Is he doin’ something weird?”

“He is quite combative about having to share my self. In the last round of training, he has been continuously upset that, instead of employing his skills, I turned to Gabriel for healing spells. He did not seem to have the observance that I could be more useful if I learned how to best employ healing spells and that the team could benefit from it.”

Kanji leaned forward, slowly putting his own hands on the table. “S-Sounds to me like he’s jealous,” the blonde mumbled.

“Jealous? Why would he be jealous?”

“It’s just… I mean… ah, nothing, I’m prolly wrong.”

“No, please. I would value your insight.”

“Like…” He ruffled his hair and leaned on the table himself. “Like, when you wanna spend time with someone. Be alone with them and have all of their attention on ya? The lill’ guy is possibly used to you just thinkin’ of him, see? He is pissy now, because ya also thinkin’ bout someone else.” His eyes rested on her, then slipped to his food. He picked up a few fries and poked them at his sauce. “Can be hard, y’know.”

Naoto watched him as he played with this food. In the back of her head, the young detective still heard her Persona squeak at high-speed about his grievances. “He says he feels useless.”

Kanji snorted a small laugh.

Naoto tipped her head sideways and frowned at him. “Why would that be amusing to you?”

“Just, ‘cause.” He looked up at her with a smile. “He sounds like you.” His smile grew into a grin and he popped the fries into his mouth.

While he chewed, she frowned deeper. “I do not see the connection. He simply is not going to be used while I am training how to heal. Right now, he simply does not have a function.”

“Which makes the lill’ guy useless right now. And it bugs him.”

“Pun intended?”

“Wha’?”

She shook her head. “Never mind.”

The boy blinked, then shrugged and started to eat properly. As Naoto picked at her own food and finally popped one of the small balls in her mouth, she gave another listen to the ranting in her mind.

“You know,” she said softly, catching the boy’s attention once more, “I believe that you are correct. His upset is indeed feeling useless. Maybe I ought to ask for one of these skill cards and give him a healing spell…”

“Or, y’know, y’could talk to him. All he really needs to know is that you still count on him. He’s still who he is, and just because you need someone else’s help right now, does not mean he’s useless or nothin’. Sometimes… sometimes, we just can’t do something. Something someone else can do. And then we can try to be supportive of them an’ make sure they can do it. So that when we’re needed again, we can stop up.”

Naoto lifted her head and regarded the boy. He was flushed again, and his eyes kept darting between his food and her, but he was sincere in his statement and quite correct in what he had said.

“You said that Sukuna-Hikona reminded you of me in this regard.” The young tailor kept his gaze firmly on the food, but nodded. “How so?”

He poked at the white sauce once more, then dropped the fries he had previously held. When he spoke, he lifted his eyes and held on to her gaze firmly. “Every time I ask if yer okay, ya snap at me. Every time I try to help ya and protect ya, you’re angry. If I offer any help, ya say I need ta mind… mind my own business.” His voice tailed off and he seemed to struggle to keep looking at her. “Yer always so worried we’d think yer weak; or that we go an’ tell ya to leave, or that we don’t need ya. That’s bullshit, Naoto. I ne- _We_ need ya.” He balled his fists on the table, his voice rising. “An’ sometimes, yeah, yer not gonna be as useful. Sometimes Senpai’s gonna tell ya ta hang back or somethin’ – but that never means yer _useless_ , damnit!”

Naoto had started to lean away from the table as his voice rose more and more. Finally, she sat up straight and looked into his eyes. The blush on his cheeks had doubled, but it possibly was his excited state that caused that.

“What you are trying to convey then, Tatsumi-kun… is that my inner self is feeling the same fears I feel. Perhaps… perhaps this, too, needs to be a part of my training then. Reconciliation with my inner self and acceptance of phases of uselessness.” She nodded, closing her eyes with a smile. “You have been very insightful, Tatsumi-kun. Thank you for your assistance.”

“Yeah! …I mean. Yeah, o’course. ‘s no problem, y’know?”

“Should I need a reminder of what you just said, please feel free to step in. I would be pleased to consider you my personal trainer in this matter.

The blonde’s blush vanished as if someone had flipped a switch. “Y-Your per-personal…”

Shouting his name, Naoto jumped to her feet as his eyes rolled up and he slipped out of his chair, fainted.


	6. Special Skills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanji and Naoto work on developing some new skills together, infuriating as it may be.

“What on Earth does that even mean, is that even a word that _exists_ in German?” Naoto stared down at the short novel in front of her, bewildered.

“An’ another stitch there,” Kanji muttered to himself as he pulled the light pink thread through the pillowcase.

Naoto pulled a face. “How do you pronounce _that?_ Quiet- _scheen_ -tchen? _Quietsch_ -eent-chen? Qui-etscheent- _chen_?” She continued to try more pronunciations, but none sounded entirely right.

“One more stitch the other way…” Kanji pulled the thread through the pillowcase again, paying close attention to the coloured strands as they moved along with his needle.

Naoto grabbed the dictionary next to her and flipped through until she found the word. “Okay, I am _utterly_ convinced that this word was created to mock me.” She looked closely at the book, squinting at it. “Honestly, what is _that?”_

“An’ that’s the next flower,” he grabbed a different colour of thread. “An’ so the next leaf has a stitch there…”

“ _Rubber ducky?!_ ” Naoto exhaled with an air of exasperation. “Honestly, _that’s_ what this word means? How is _anyone_ at the _first-grade reading level_ supposed to read _that?!”_ She continued to stare at the page, bewildered, fuming.

“An’ there’s a stitch there an’ we’re do-” He was quickly cut off by a loud shout from the girl next to him.

“ **AARGH! I’M DONE! THIS IS ALL TOO MUCH!”**

“You okay Naoto? What’s going on?” Kanji looked at her, concerned. She usually wasn’t prone to sudden bursts of anger.

“I am fine Tatsumi.” Naoto clearly wasn’t fine, so Kanji moved a bit closer to look at what she was doing.

“What’s that?” He pointed at one of the simpler words in the novel before choosing to sweep his hand across both pages. “What’s any of that?”

“ _German,_ ” she scowled, scrunching up her face for a moment.

“What’s so bad about it?” Kanji asked innocently.

“Everything. Reading, writing, speaking, _everything is horrible about German._ ” She growled before relaxing momentarily. “From a learning standpoint, of course.”

“Then, well…” he looked over at her, confused, “why are you doing it?”

“I want to be able to understand a number of languages. That includes German.”

“Why German?”

“I thought it would be simple to learn.” She looked wistfully out the window and sighed. “I was wrong.”

Kanji suddenly became curious about the subject. “So, what’s so bad about German?”

Naoto’s eyes lit up. “Well, you see,” she began, adjusting her posture to become straight, suddenly appearing dignified, “languages like German, Russian, Estonian and Finnish have this incredibly interesting but bizarre property where they can be infinitely long. It happens when words are essentially duct-taped together to make an increasingly long, increasingly specific word that isn’t practical in any way, shape or form but still counts as a word on a technical level. Japanese has it as well, to a degree, but because of the way our language is written, a separate ‘word’ is more loosely defined. With German, Russian, and other similar languages, however, it is obvious what constitutes a single word, but that does not stop them from being absurdly long. Trust me when I say that this word is tame by comparison to some other products of the language.”

“Holy shit.” Kanji was gawking at her.

“And that is why I am utterly enraged, incredibly exasperated, and just generally really annoyed by this short novel at the first-grade reading level.” Naoto turned her head back to her book and kept reading.

And then, everything was back to normal. Quiet, peaceful, and vaguely annoying in Naoto’s case.

And then, Kanji yelled.

“Shit!” he shouted as he impaled his finger on the needle.

Sensing his anger, Naoto shuffled closer, and said, “What happened?”

Kanji scowled as he began, “Well, you see…”

But it wasn’t all that important to them how they felt or what happened. They were trying to learn, to improve on existing skills and perhaps develop new ones. It would be a long, difficult task in both cases, but it was a lot easier when they had people beside them to listen to their troubles.

And besides, having someone to kiss your pricked finger until it felt better – anywhere from one to one hundred times – was always a bonus.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I chose to write this because I was thinking about the theme and after a while I just sort of ended up on brain training, and then that became this.


	7. Defend Yourself!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every visit to the TV World is a life and death gamble. One that Naoto almost loses, needlessly according to Kanji.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My contribution to this beautiful array of KanNao "training"! It took everything I had to not write kind of smutty adventure using the prompt as a euphemism LOL Enjoy my take on the million dollar word!

Nothing about the TV World was entirely predictable. Sure one could deduce what kind of Shadows would be run into for the most part in a dungeon and from that choose proper equipment, team members and items to keep on hand. But that was where it all stopped. With nearly each floor randomized every time they ventured into an area and no way of knowing when an attack would come, it was a lottery of life and death every visit. 

 

One day Naoto nearly lost that gamble. 

 

Determination fueled the team’s footsteps. Reports from Rise led them to believe a new powerful Shadow was lurking in the laboratory where Naoto was outed by her own True Self. With Teddie’s nose confirming the presence, no one from the Investigation Team felt safe letting the fiend remain in the depths beyond the miles of wiring, flashing buttons and metal grates. Once again the group of teens found themselves fighting through gang after gang of Shadows, pushing through until they came across a particularly daring group of Royal Dancers. 

 

“Everyone stay together and watch each other’s backs!” Yu shouted as the dangerous pairs approached. 

 

As they had done so many times before, half of the group charged in with their Personas while the others summoned elemental strikes set for destroying the evil that opposed them. As the newest addition to the team and possibly the most resolute to clear out the place where she herself was held captive, Naoto used everything at her disposal to defeat the coming onslaught. In a blur, her brave Persona Sukuna Hikona whizzed by as she herself took aim at a couple zeroing in on Chie. Sword and bullet pierced together, slowing the adversary down enough to give Tomoe an opening for a killer kick. 

 

Teamwork was everything and for a while it worked as well as it ever had. One by one the Royal Dancers went down, weak to their bonds and attacks. For a moment everything seemed to be going their way. Until Kanji noticed familiar figures approaching from behind their back line. “HEY! LOOK OUT!”

 

“Huh?! AH!” Naoto cried out as a sting to her knuckles forced her grip on her trusty revolver to loosen, sending the weapon skittering across the grate. The bond with Sukuna Hikona summoned the fierce, tiny sword user to her side, but another Dancer cut it off, forcing it into a clash of steel and light. More of the Shadows were coming from both sides, leaving the rest of the group preoccupied regardless of how badly they wanted to help their teammate. Naoto was on her own and unarmed. 

 

Deep ocean eyes trailed up the needle-like blade of the rapier pointed at her throat, meeting the dark, soulless stare of the Royal Dancer. Fear churned her stomach and clenched her chest. Any sudden movements would surely agitate a final slash or stab against her, but doing nothing spelled her doom just as certainly. Calculation and strategy were out the window. All logical functions ceased in her mind. There was nothing she could do. Except pray. 

 

“RAAAAAAAAAH!” A tremendous bellow echoed down the metal bridge and shook the mechanical panels. Hefty, hurried footsteps sent shockwaves through everyone’s feet. Instinct kicked in, convincing Naoto to look away but as she did, the Shadow took an opportunity of attack, pulling back each dancer’s fencing arm and aiming with alarming precision for the small detective’s jugular. The lethal movement demanded her attention but that was all she could muster. No counters would come to mind. No dodges would shock her muscles into action. She was frozen. This was it.

 

That is until the rapier of finesse met the chair of brutality wielded by the Investigation team’s resident electric muscle. The metals clashed with a wicked clang that stung the eardrums of all in proximity. Through gritted teeth with steel folding chair tight in his grasp, Kanji glanced at Naoto, “Naoto, go! Getchyer gun!”

 

“But!”

 

“I gotchu covered! Go! Now!” Usually Kanji stammered and stumbled over himself when he interacted with Naoto, a quirk that she had yet to understand. But at that very point in time, he was concise, in charge and as protective as an alpha wolf is of their pack members. And he stared down their whimsical enemy just as ferociously.

 

“Understood!” Naoto confirmed obediently, dashing for her discarded armament. 

 

Relieved Naoto was out of harm’s way, Kanji set to work. For a growing man his size, the blond was surprisingly fast, moving with a fluid agility as he closed the space between his fist and the Royal Dancer, aiming for the chest of the male half. Knuckles connected with would-be ribs and the foe buckled under the velocity of the hit. Another punch, then a booted kick to the stomach. Soon Take-Mikazuchi was in the mix, one huge hand gripping the dancing pair before slamming them into the paneled wall. The Shadow dissipated into purple-tinted smoke.

 

More approached but unlucky for them, Naoto was back in control of her emotions and her revolver. A few well-aimed shots fired from the barrel and found their marks; heart-shaped balloon heads of the Shadows snapped back from the bullets before Sukuna Hikona rejoined her in time for a finalizing attack of the almighty kind. 

 

Enemies dispersed, the group took a few moments to catch their breaths and regain their wits. That battle was particular rough and everyone was feeling the strain. Kanji seemed aggravated. Naoto ashamed. 

\--------------------------------

Mission carried out and commanding Shadow that had infiltrated the secret lab vanquished, the teens returned to their world, filing out of the television at Junes and ready for their mattresses and pillows. Yosuke and Chie bickered about who landed the killing blow, begging Rise for her judgement being the group spectator and overseer. Yukiko and their leader were quietly discussing the possibilities of the next dungeon, victim and enemies. Bringing up the rear was Kanji and Naoto, neither of whom were in the right mind for talking.

 

Instead Naoto lectured herself. Her performance in the lab was pitiful and shameful, two descriptions she seldom had to tack onto her own work. But there was no way around it. Not only had she been snuck up on, but the enemy had the upper hand to a point where she could have been killed. Worse yet, her ignorance could have been paid for by another. Tired blue eyes shifted to the statuesque teen beside her. Kanji had risked his own well-being running into the fight.  _ Her _ fight. A fight that she froze during, choked on and lost regardless of lack of serious injury. She pressed her thumb into the wounded knuckles of her right hand, punishing herself with a sting to remind herself to never let it happen again. A low hiss slithered between her clenched teeth. It didn’t go unnoticed.

 

“You alright?” Kanji’s gruff voice cut through her self-loathing and brought her back to their walk. Such an awkward cadence back to their homes. 

 

Subtle shame returned to her soft features, “Yes, I’m fine.”

 

The fork in the road arrived and split the group up into pairs. Kanji and Naoto stayed together; Kanji had offered to walk her home earlier. More words were there. Hiding in the fog of embarrassment and discomfort. They needed to be said. Points needed to be made. Apologies. Advice and warnings. But they wouldn’t come. Only the crunch of sidewalk under heels and the occasional nocturnal wildlife stirred. Eventually it all proved to be to much for the less cordial of the two.

 

“Dammit Naoto, what the hell happened in there?” Kanji growled lowly. There was an anger to his tone that didn’t sit well with Naoto. He stopped in his tracks, forcing Naoto to come to a stop and turn to him.

 

“I made a mistake, one that won’t happen again, I promise you,” she vowed.

 

“Yer damn right it won’t!” the Inaba punk agreed vehemently. “I mean seriously, ya didn’t even fight back against that bastard! He...She….They?” Kanji paused a moment to ponder the nomenclature then passed judgement that it wasn’t important “That damn Shadow coulda killed ya!”

 

There was an icy grip on Naoto’s heart and it tightened at his words. She knew that she had been seconds away from death but hearing someone else confirm it was jarring. “Don’t you think I know that! I won’t let them sneak up on me like that and disarm me again.”

 

“That ain’t it!”

 

“What?” Now the detective was lost. 

 

A frustrated hand pulled back at already slicked hair. Some blond spikes that had been shaken loose by the battles were tucked back in their places. A few deep breaths before he could explain himself. “The second you lost yer gun, you were like a defenseless kid! That shouldn’t be the case. We’ve all gotten knocked down, lost a weapon, whatever. Even me.” His chair was clutched in his massive hand. The metal creaked under his palm. “But whenever that’s happened, whoever it is still fights back. They dodge. Jump. Punch. Kick. Whatever it takes! You just...well you seemed pretty okay with dyin’ then and there!”

 

Rage built up in Naoto’s gut. “Are you insinuating I  _ wanted _ to die!”

 

“No! I mean...dammit Naoto, ya fuckin’ scared the shit outta me!

 

The pair froze, eyes fixed on each other. Only their chests moved as they heaved breaths. 

 

Kanji started again, his volume considerably lower. He sounded....sad. “I thought you were gonna get run through by that Dancer an’ I was so fuckin’ scared. I...I couldn’t….” 

 

Naoto watched as the same muscular teen who was rumored to had beaten a biker gang by himself struggled to keep tears down. “Kanji-kun….”

 

A large palm signaled for her to wait. “I don’t wanna see you freeze up like that again. Ya gotta fight back, ya hear me? Throw a damn punch. Don’t resign yerself to gettin’ beat...cuz gettin’ beat in that place doesn’t let you walk away with a scar on your head or a black eye. That shit means...game over.”

 

Suddenly it all became clear. All Kanji wanted was for her to defend herself. But without her gun, how could she? It was her main and only line of defense. “Kanji...I...I don’t know how to punch. Or kick. Or any of those things. I’m a marksman. Not a brawler. I can’t do what you did to that Shadow.” None of the words came easily. It wasn’t like her to admit she couldn’t accomplish something. But without proper training how could she hope to defeat an adversary hand-to-hand?

 

It was then that Kanji perked up. “I’ll teach ya!”

 

“You will?”

 

“Yeah ‘course I will! If anyone in this town knows how to fist fight, it’s Kanji Tatsumi!” Without giving it thought, the blond finished his declaration with a fighter’s pose, arms at the ready with balled fists and a confident grin. 

 

Naoto couldn’t help but chuckle quietly at the display. This was a man of many faces and she enjoyed meeting and learning about each one. The self-assured ones thus far were her favorites. “Very well. After school tomorrow, we can begin our training.”

 

“Tomorrow?” He looked worried. Naoto attempted to rescind the schedule but he countered. “Nah it’s fine! I just gotta help Ma with something at the shop then I’ll meet ya! Park by your place sound good?”

 

“Perfect. Speaking of, we seem to have halted by the same park. Let’s keep walking.”

 

“Y-Yeah.” Their crackling footsteps had returned to the night air, sounding somehow lighter than before.

 

“I’m sorry for worrying you, Kanji-kun.”

 

“S’alright, Naoto. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you.”

 

For some reason the pledge warmed the detective’s face. 


	8. Gun Safety

Kanji blinked at the open lockbox, mouth agape. From the look on his face, Naoto could tell this wasn’t what he had in mind when she had told him there was a matter she wished to discuss after dinner.

“You – o-oh. When you said I needed to know how to defend myself, I didn’t…”

Naoto pulled her gun from where it stayed safe between cases and set it down in front of Kanji. He leaned back slightly, though it was currently unloaded, ammunition stored separately.

“You learning how to use this is my one condition if you wish to join me when I travel for work.”

He looked down, rubbing the back of his head. “I…I know the people you deal with are sometimes real shitty, but I…I don’t wanna…I dunno if I _could_ …”

“I know.” That was exactly why Naoto didn’t relish this plan. She was more or less able to parse, rationalize, and detach herself from certain decisions she had to make in life-or-death situations. Kanji, despite his reputation, was no fan of violence. The weight of taking a life, even in self-defense against a detestable criminal, was not one she wanted him to carry. “I pull my gun only if I have no other choice, and I would rather not ever be in a situation where you need to use it. For what it’s worth, my using it _is_ a rare occurrence. But, if I’m…unable to defend us for any reason, I need to know _you_ can.”

Still not meeting Naoto’s eyes, Kanji pursed his lips. “Not really something I wanna think about.”

“Nor do I. But it’s dangerous not to do so. To be frank – and please don’t take this the wrong way – I can’t afford liabilities. Honestly, civilian accompaniment isn’t necessarily ideal in the first place, but I can see the advantage in having someone of your build and proficiency in physical combat with me. Still, in a worst case scenario, I can’t in good conscience allow you not to be equipped with the proper knowledge and ability to optimize our chance of survival.”

Kanji’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly as he sifted through her words. Naoto was very well aware she was getting more long-winded with every sentence, but old habits died hard. It was, she supposed, a defense mechanism of sorts, hiding her terror that Kanji could be hurt behind a wall of big words. As it was, she had been completely opposed to the idea of bringing him on cases initially. Even a seemingly mundane case could turn violent without notice, and if Naoto was being honest, she still bristled at the suggestion that she needed a bodyguard. But, at Kanji’s insistence, she agreed to at least give it some more thought.

And after weighing the pros and cons – trying not to let her desire for companionship cloud her judgement – she reluctantly decided to at least give it a chance. Yes, it was dangerous, but they had all routinely risked their lives in the TV world during high school, and Kanji was a formidable fighter even without his Persona’s aid. No, she didn’t _need_ a bodyguard, but she begrudgingly accepted that Kanji’s size and musculature would prove valuable in a hand-to-hand combat situation she would likely be outmatched in. And, truth be told, if their roles were reversed, Naoto knew that she would feel the same, would want to help Kanji in any way she could, even knowing perfectly well he could take care of himself.

“Alright.” Kanji finally broke the silence, bringing Naoto’s attention back to the present.

“Alright?”

“I’ll – I’ll do it.” Face set in determination, he continued, “Hopefully I never need to use it, but…if that’s what ya want me to do so I can go with you, fine. I don’t wanna just be dead weight.” He grimaced at that, possibly regretting his choice of words.

Naoto nodded. “Then it’s settled. I’ll schedule time for us at the shooting range as soon as possible.” With that, she carefully locked the gun back up before standing to clear their dishes, grasping Kanji’s arm and kissing his forehead as if it had been any other evening, any other conversation.

…

And so Kanji found himself, a few mornings later, standing in the Inaba police department, trying not to look suspicious. It had been a few years since he’d had any run-ins with the law, but there were still a handful of officers who gave him dirty looks whenever they saw him despite having Dojima’s support ever since the TV case. “Kill them with kindness” was the philosophy he tried to live by now, though, so when Suito, one of the assholes that had brought him in for fighting that biker gang back in the day curled his lip at the sight of him, Kanji mustered his friendliest smile and stood a little taller.

“Shirogane,” the man said as they passed. “What are you and Tatsumi doing here so early? Didn’t think you were on a case right now.”

“I’m not,” Naoto replied curtly. She was not fond of this particular asshole either, thanks to some derogatory comments he had made when her gender had become public knowledge. “I’m simply here for target practice. Tatsumi- _san_ will be observing.”

Kanji’s couldn’t help his smile morphing into a smirk. Suito only suppressed an eyeroll.

“Uh-huh. Sounds like a cute date.”

“By the way, I’ve heard Shiroku-san’s business has declined over the past few days, since you shot out her storefront window.” Naoto adjusted her cap, not bothering to hide her disdain. “Perhaps you would benefit from some practice as well.”

Looking down his nose at her with narrowed eyes, Suito said nothing else as he continued down the hall.

“Is _that_ what happened at Shiroku’s?” Kanji asked when he was out of earshot. “I thought she was just remodeling or somethin’.”

“There was an armed robbery in the area late the other night, and Suito did a poor job both in de-escalating the situation and subduing the culprit,” Naoto explained.

Kanji scoffed. “Jackass. I don’t like that guy.”

“Yes, well, few at the station do,” Naoto agreed as they approached the door to the shooting range. Kanji had seen a few on TV, and caught a glimpse of the station’s once when he was bringing Naoto lunch, but he had never been inside. It wasn’t particularly exciting, just a small room with a few booths of sorts for whoever was practicing to stand in, past which were a number of targets whose height and distance could be adjusted depending on preference.

“No one else is scheduled to use the range today,” Naoto began as she locked the door behind them, “so there’s no rush. We’ll take as long as you need to make sure you’re comfortable with everything.”

Comfortable was probably an overstatement, but Kanji appreciated that they would be able to take their time. He didn’t want to leave here confused or uncertain about anything. In fact, the first thirty minutes or so they spent simply on proper handling of the gun. After triple checking that it was unloaded, Naoto handed it over and showed Kanji how to hold it, how to turn the safety on and off, and how to aim and fire. As she corrected the placement of his hands and adjusted his stance, Kanji couldn’t help but note that this was decidedly less cute and romantic than when he had given her knitting lessons, but decided against commenting so.

“A handgun will have less kickback than, say, a shotgun, but you still need to be careful and steady,” Naoto was explaining, adjusting his arms. “If you lose your grip, you could end up hurting yourself.”

“Right. That makes sense. Uh, so, how’s this?” Kanji asked, trying to hold the position Naoto had maneuvered him into.

She slowly walked in a circle around him, biting her lip thoughtfully. “Good, good. Just like that. I think it’s time to move on.”

“Already, huh,” Kanji muttered, reaching for the goggles and ear plugs Naoto had provided. While she began to load the gun, Kanji rubbed the back of his head anxiously. “Hey, uh, I’ve been meanin’ to ask. I know you gotta jump through a lotta hoops to get your hands on one’a these things. Is it, uh, you know, above board for me to be doin’ this, much less maybe use it for real?” Forcing a laugh, he added, “Or is it like, you’d tell me but then you’d have to kill me?”

Naoto paused, looked at him, looked at the door, and back at the gun in her hands. “Dojima-san is aware of what we’re doing today and will make sure we won’t be disturbed. To be honest, my ownership of a gun of this model is the result of many strings being pulled by my grandfather, who has garnered a fair amount of influence among national law enforcement. Should it come to that point, just keep us safe above all else and let me worry about the consequences.”

Kanji swallowed. Sometimes, it hit him just how intimidating this world he was slowly getting more involved with was, not the least of that being Naoto and her family. “Gotcha.”

“Now. Are you ready?” Naoto asked, setting her gun down in front of him

“As I’ll ever be.”

When Naoto nodded and moved to the back wall to watch, Kanji picked the gun up and let out a breath. Trying to remember exactly how Naoto told him to stand, he aimed for the bulls-eye, turned off the safety, and pulled the trigger.

He knew it was going to be loud, but even with protective equipment the noise startled him. The shot went long, barely even hitting the target, much less the bulls-eye. Eyes wide, Kanji lowered the gun for a moment, trying to still his shaking hands. When his pounding heart had slowed back down to a near-normal rate, he squared his shoulders and tried again.

It didn’t take as long as he expected to be able to consistently hit close enough to the bulls-eye to earn Naoto’s approval. He wondered if his years of experience working with his hands gave him a leg up on the precise control required to master the tool. When Naoto switched out the targets for ones that resembled a human form, however, it gave Kanji pause. Even if it was only a faceless, nameless cardboard cutout, there was something unsettling in staring it down, gun in hand.

As he reloaded the weapon, he could feel Naoto’s stare on him from behind. She had said it was a rare occurrence for her to draw her gun. But that meant it happened. Had she shot anyone before? Had she _killed_ anyone before? She didn’t talk much about that aspect of her cases, and Kanji wasn’t sure he wanted to ask.

He realized he had been standing there unmoving far longer than before he had with the simple bulls-eye target. While Naoto had made it abundantly clear that if at any point he felt uncomfortable or changed his mind, he didn’t have to continue, he didn’t want to back out now. He had made it this far, and was determined to follow through on his promise to do anything it took to protect Naoto. Even if he hoped with every fiber of his being that he never had to do more than punch someone or grapple a weapon from their hands.

So, with a deep breath, he returned to the proper stance and took aim at the target before him. It was hard not to picture it with a face, so he tried to use that to his advantage. _Imagine it’s Adachi. No, someone even worse than him. Someone who hurt even more people, someone who hurt_ Naoto _, and I’m the only one standin’ between them and her. If I don’t take ‘em out, she…_ He couldn’t finish the thought without icy fear and anger bubbling up in his chest.

Resolve steeled, he pulled the trigger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean, really, how does a teenager in Japan end up with a working gun? P4 doesn't even have any cognitive whatever excuses like P5. I like to think the Shirogane family is just ~special~


End file.
